Dude vs Dough at Tank and Paddle 1

So, after a while of trying to decide what my next challenge would be, I stumbled across a new pizza challenge that had so far, been undefeated. New challenge, in London, with no winner. I couldn’t resist. It was time to carb up.


The challenge consists of:

  • A metre long pizza with toppings of your choice
  • One full side of mac and cheese.

You have 15 minutes to devour all of this. Time starts as soon as you take your first bite. It costs £20 to enter. If you win, you get your money back and a £20 bar tab. If you lose, they keep the £20 and you walk away in shame that food won. Sounds simple, right?


For my attempt I went with pretty basic toppings, just the simple Margarita pizza. It was tempting to go for other toppings, but unless you know you can cruise through this, I would advise against it since they will slow you down. During my attempt the tomato topping helped me get through the pizza faster. As with my previous challenges, I used them instead of water. Hey, it’s part of the challenge, use it to help you win.


No special techniques with this one really, I cut up the pizza into manageable slices before I begun, mixed the mac and cheese to let some heat out, and away I went. Shout out to Naomi for the idea to mix it before I started (I hope that’s the right name, if not I’m sorry!) It was really good pizza. The crust was nice and thin, and the toppings felt fresh. It didn’t feel greasy and had just the right amount of cheese.


Ok, maybe there were some special tactics. I folded the pizza so the toppings were on the outside. Hot cheese and tomatoes are actually quite juicy. This meant I needed less water to get through the pizza and also get it down faster. I also had pieces I wasn’t eating covering each other to keep the heat locked in. It was pretty easy going up until three quarters in when my jaw begun to hurt and I was starting to feel a bit full. If you find yourself with jaw fatigue (hey, it happens when you are trying to eat fast!) then tear the pizza into smaller pieces with your hands. This essentially saves a few chews. In the end, every bit helps.


At that point I decided to mix things up and tackle the mac and cheese. Pretty standard mac and cheese fare in my opinion, went for the classic. With this one I would have preferred a bit more cheese, but that’s just me. Not bad overall. Nothing particularly difficult with this part of the challenge. The macaroni was soft and easy to chew. The only thing that could throw you off is the heat (mix it at the start) and maybe just the quantity combined with the pizza. This wasn’t an issue for me since my capacity is decent.


Overall it took me around 8 minutes to complete. I’m quite happy with the result. The first win on this challenge and sub 10 minutes as I had set out to do. I wanted to show people that this is achievable. Skip lunch and eat fast is my advice, but I can see this being an achievable challenge for those that have above average appetites.


Massive shout out to everyone there, you made this challenge a lot of fun. It really makes the world of a difference.


If you want to have a go, you can find it at:


Minster Court, 3 Mincing Lane, London, EC3R 7AA

020 7929 8399




One comment on “Dude vs Dough at Tank and Paddle

  1. Reply Naomi Feb 10,2017 3:17 pm

    I’m still so impressed by your 8 minute win! It was an honour to watch! Hope to see you at T & P in the near future 🙂

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